May 2013
megaman2:
megaman2:
“mickey mouse it says you want to divorce minnie because she was…… extremely silly?”
“no, i said she was fucking goofy”
please stop reblogging this i stole this joke from my brother
maths-sucks:
h0odrich:
someone was just born
I hope they’re hot
noonereadstheurl:
I honestly can’t blame David Karp for wanting to sell this website
You can only be called “daddy” by white middle-class teenaged girls so many times before something just snaps
shedisenchants:
shedisenchants:
so every year after the juniors finish reading The Great Gatsby my high school english teacher throws a Gatsby party at his huge house and everyone shows up in period clothing and Charlestons to 20s music and my english teacher just wears a suit and stands off to the side staring wistfully out the window the entire night
you guys think I’m joking??
heygloria:
nothing hurts more than being ignored by cats on the street
Non-Whovian friend: I just watched a really cool episode of Doctor Who the other day!
Very Whovian me: Which one?
friend: The world was ending.
me: ...
friend:
me:
friend:
me:
friend:
me: could you
me:
me: could you be more specific
sharonosbourne:
paulbearer:
there are people who think kit kats taste good
yeah they’re called smart people
Other people: wow what a perfect morning for a run
Me: wow what a perfect morning to go the fuck back to sleep
dangering:
mackleless
macklemore
macklemost
rneerkat:
i was going to do a diet but i think ill weight
australian horror story: down down, prices are down
Americans: Youtube
Australians: Youchube
mattfoundglory:
the only reason i wear all black is so i can absorb the energy from the sun and become the most powerful being on the earth
ryannxp:
irisowl:
So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized
Dr. Robert Evans
I looked it up
My dentist is Captain America’s dad
omfg
canadianslut:
ignorning my posts makes your dick smaller
lampsarepeopletoo:
they call me macklemore in math class because im like
what what what what what
what what what what what what what
what what what what
purplefridge:
*plays video on tumblr dash* please be on youtube please be on youtube please be on youtube
send me a character
Dean Winchester: 5 Things you dislike most about yourself?
Sam Winchester: If you could do anything for a living what would it be?
The Doctor: Have you ever sacrificed something you loved for the greater good?
Harry Potter: Do people have high expectations of you?
Sherlock: Are you an intellectual person?
John Watson: Are you an overprotective friend?
Amy Pond: Are you an extrovert or an introvert?
Jack Harkness: Are you a flirt?
Castiel: Are you a generally rebellious person?
Steve Rogers: Do you ever feel like you miss out on alot?
Katniss Everdeen: Does family mean alot to you?
Tony Stark: 5 Favourite things about yourself?
Natasha: Are you a manipulative person?
Nick Fury: Are you the kind of person who takes charge?
Bruce Banner: Have you ever hated parts of yourself to a great extent?
Thor: Are you an arrogant person sometimes?
Loki: Are you a jealous person?
zarry:
i feel this on a spiritual level
